Children Are Learning. That’s the Whole Point.
A lot of the time, what adults label as “bad behavior” is actually just a child doing their best with what they’ve got. Clinical psychologist Mona Delahooke reminds us that when we see behavior as communication, it stops being something we need to “fix” and starts being something we can understand.

If a child is melting down, shutting down, or saying no, there’s a reason. They’re not trying to make your life hard. They’re trying to manage something inside them that feels too big, too fast, or just too much. What they need in that moment isn’t punishment or shame. It’s support.

Kids Do Well When They Can
That phrase, coined by Dr. Ross Greene, should be at the foundation of how we interact with children. If a child could meet the expectation, they would. So when they can’t, we need to shift from blame to curiosity. What’s in the way? What skills or support are missing?

Dr. Greene’s work reminds us that collaboration and empathy go a lot further than control and consequence. When we approach kids with understanding instead of demands, we don’t just get better behavior...we build better relationships.



​They're Not Projects. They're People.
We have to stop trying to shape kids into what’s easiest for adults. Alfie Kohn, who’s written extensively about parenting and education, points out that many of our systems reward obedience over authenticity. That’s not preparing kids for adulthood. That’s conditioning them to suppress themselves.

Children learn best when they’re trusted. Not when they’re micromanaged. Not when every move is measured and evaluated. And not when we act like their job is to perform for adult approval.

Especially for neurodivergent children, the pressure to “comply” can be exhausting. They’re often pulled through endless programs, therapies, and interventions designed to make them appear more socially acceptable. But that’s not the same as meeting their actual needs.

We don’t need more kids who can mask their distress. We need kids who are safe enough to be themselves.

Being Bored Isn’t a Problem. It’s a Need.
Unstructured time is not a waste. It’s where the good stuff happens. When a child is “doing nothing,” they might be regulating. Or processing. Or dreaming. Or coming up with something wildly creative. Or maybe they’re just resting...and that’s more than okay.

Most adults fantasize about having a day without obligations. And yet we pack children’s schedules with structured activity, then panic when they say they’re bored. But boredom is healthy. It invites invention. It allows the nervous system to settle. It makes space for autonomy.

Letting a child be bored isn’t neglect. It’s a gift.

Noncompliance Can Be a Sign of Growth
Kristy Forbes, an Autistic advocate and educator, teaches about “radical acceptance”—the idea that children are not broken, and they don’t need to be reshaped to fit into narrow boxes. Noncompliance isn’t always defiance. Sometimes it’s a child protecting their dignity. Sometimes it’s them listening to their body. Sometimes it’s a protest against a system that feels unsafe.

We need to stop treating resistance like a red flag. Kids who say no are practicing self-advocacy. Kids who question rules are learning to think critically. Those aren’t flaws. Those are skills they’ll need as adults.

The irony is, we often say we want children to grow up to be bold, independent thinkers, but we punish those traits when they show up in childhood.

Lately, there’s been a huge rise in conversations about PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance aka Pervasive Drive for Autonomy). Some of it has been incredibly validating for people who’ve never had language for what they experience. And some of it… well, some of it has gotten a little muddy.
Let’s name it gently: there are a lot of content creators right now framing PDA as a catch-all for any kiddo who resists doing things. And while the visibility is good, the oversimplification isn’t. It’s not that these creators mean harm. Many are trying to support families in real distress. But the result is that many parents are walking away convinced their child is PDA when what they’re actually seeing is demand avoidance…and those are not the same thing.

Demand Avoidance Is Common (and Valid)
Most neurodivergent people show demand avoidance in some way. Honestly, it’s a reasonable response to a world full of sensory overload, executive functioning challenges, and often inflexible expectations. Avoidance can show up as procrastination, shutdowns, meltdowns, or even hyperfocus on literally anything else but the thing you’re supposed to do. Sound familiar?
These responses make sense. But they don’t automatically mean someone is PDA.

So, What Makes PDA Different?
Pathological Demand Avoidance isn’t just about avoiding things you don’t want to do. It’s a specific Autistic profile where perceived demands trigger a threat response in the body. Not “I won’t.” Not “I don’t like this.” But “I can’t, because my nervous system has gone into literal survival mode.”
This is where the autonomic nervous system (ANS) comes in. For people with PDA, requests (even ones that seem minor, friendly, or just expected) can ignite the same kind of physiological response you’d expect from someone in danger. It’s not attitude. It’s not oppositional behavior. It’s the body protecting itself.

Why the Distinction Matters
When we blur the line between demand avoidance and PDA, we risk giving the wrong support to the wrong kid.
Sometimes, what looks like PDA is:

• Anxiety + sensory overload
• A trauma response
• Executive dysfunction
• A need for agency
• Or honestly, just a child being pushed too hard, too often

That’s not PDA. That’s a nervous system asking for accommodations. his isn’t about gatekeeping. It’s about getting it right so the child’s nervous system can feel safe and the adults around them can respond in a way that’s actually helpful. PDA is real. So is demand avoidance. But they’re not interchangeable. In my opinion collapsing them into one category does more harm than good.

Learning from Lived Experience
I also want to acknowledge that some of the most important learning I’ve done around PDA has come from Kristy Forbes. Her work and her lived experience have changed how I show up...not just as a therapist, but as a parent and a person. From Kristy, I learned the concept and practice of radical acceptance...not performative tolerance, but deep, full-body acceptance of another person’s neurobiology and autonomy. That framework has helped me unlearn old patterns, center safety, and offer more meaningful support. I’m so grateful for everything she has shared; it’s made me better in every role I hold.

Welcome to the Therapy Center of Buda, where our practice is rooted in affirming and inclusive therapy. Unlike many traditional speech and occupational therapy clinics, we are grounded in the neurodiversity movement and prioritize creating a supportive and positive environment for all our clients. Here are the key features that define our approach:

• Neurodiversity Paradigm Aligned: We are staunch advocates of the Neurodiversity Paradigm, recognizing and endorsing the myriad ways in which brains naturally function within the human spectrum. Our practices repudiate Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) and the behavioral modification approaches it entails. We offer a compassionate and respectful alternative that refuses to rely on coercion, behaviorism, or reward systems. Instead, we foster an understanding and supportive environment focused on intrinsic growth and personal well-being.

• Neurotype Recognition & Community-Driven Support: In our dedication to embracing neurodiversity, we've developed specialized approaches for identifying and nurturing Autistic and Allistic individuals. We are acutely aware of the coping strategies, such as camouflaging (e.g. masking), Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA), non-pathological demand avoidance, burnout, shutdown, and trauma unique to neurodivergence. Our evaluation process is intentionally designed to highlight strengths, fostering a profound sense of affirmation and pride. We celebrate traits of Autistic neurotypes, ensuring that our clients recognize and embrace their authentic selves without experiencing the shadow of deficit-focused narratives. This spirit of celebration is extended in our reports where we conscientiously use language that encourages pride and confidence, avoiding any implication of shame or apprehension.
• Specialized in Neurodivergent and School-Based Trauma: Our therapists are not only trained to understand and address the wide range of traumatic experiences, but we possess a deep expertise in recognizing the manifestations of trauma that are specific to neurodivergent individuals. We are adept at identifying and supporting those who have endured school-based trauma, which can lead to profound challenges such as school refusal, shutdowns, and burnout. We are dedicated to nurturing an empathetic and therapeutic environment to help mitigate these traumatic experiences and promote healing and resilience.

• Informed by Lived Experience: Our team isn't just versed in evidence-based practice; we actively follow and implement insights from researchers and specialists who themselves share the neurotypes they specialize in, offering us a profound level of understanding and connection. This lived-experience perspective is an invaluable asset to our practice. Moreover, our clinic takes pride in being locally owned and operated by an AuDHDer (Autistic and ADHDer), enriching our services with firsthand Autastic expertise.

• Allied and Gender Identity Affirming: We stand as allies with the LGBTQIA+ community, ensuring access to supportive environments that affirm every individual's gender identity and sexual orientation. Recognizing the importance of a secure and welcoming space, we are dedicated to creating a sanctuary where the journey of self-identity is honored, ensuring members of the LGBTQIA+ community feel safe, seen, and fully supported here at Therapy Center of Buda.

• BIPOC Embracing and Intersectionality Aware: Our commitment extends to affirming the identities and experiences of Black, Indigenous, and People of Color (BIPOC). We recognize the intersectionality of identity and the unique challenges that may arise at these crossroads. Every individual's diverse heritage is honored and respected in our therapy practices.

• Grounded in Social Justice and Championing Autonomy: Our practice is deeply embedded in the pursuit of social justice, guided by unwavering commitments to equity, fairness, and respect for every individual. Central to our ethos is the value we place on personal autonomy; we staunchly oppose any form of coercion or manipulative tactics in therapy, instead embracing the principle that our clients are the most vital members of the therapeutic team. Their modes of communication—whether through spoken words, augmentative and alternative communication (AAC) systems, gestures, written methods, or any diverse forms of expression—are always honored and held in the highest esteem. We are not just facilitators but partners, upholding the right of every person to self-advocate and be active participants in their therapeutic journey.

 

• Holistic Family-Centered Approach: We recognize that the path to wellness and understanding isn’t isolated to our client alone. Inherently, each client is a cherished member of a family network, and their experiences have a significant ripple effect on the family unit. We are keenly aware that neurodivergence is often a shared genetic journey, with various neurotypes enriching the family tapestry. When one member embarks on a therapeutic journey, it resonates throughout the family, from adjusting everyday dynamics to fostering deep empathy and appreciation for all neurotype presentations. Our therapy extends beyond the individual, providing the entire family with essential tools for reframing perspectives, unlearning ingrained misconceptions, and cultivating self-compassion. This comprehensive approach is crucial, as it ensures that every family member feels supported, validated, and prepared to thrive together in mutual understanding and respect.
• Celebrates Neurodivergence: At Therapy Center of Buda, we recognize neurodivergence as a vital expression of the human experience, not a condition to be corrected. We uphold the autonomy of each individual, ensuring that their personal communication styles, from spoken words to AAC systems and beyond, are deeply respected. Our therapeutic space cherishes personal needs and emotions, offering freedom to stim, self-regulate, and move through the world in a way that feels natural and fulfilling. Here, we operate without the pressure of imposed norms, allowing every individual to thrive according to their neurobiological needs, free from mandates like forced eye contact or compliance. We are committed to honoring and embracing the unique paths of neurodivergent individuals with unwavering support and admiration.

There are two contrasting views on the effectiveness of exposure to sensorially dysregulating stimuli in children: those who follow the behaviorist approach and those who support neurodiversity.

Behavioralists believe that exposing children to overwhelming stimuli repeatedly can help increase their tolerance and regulation around the trigger. However, this approach can actually be counterproductive and may teach children to suppress their emotions rather than regulate them. This is because the behaviorist approach focuses on changing behavior through conditioning, rather than addressing the underlying emotional and neurological factors that contribute to dysregulation.

On the other hand, neurodiversity-affirming supporters understand that exposure to overwhelming stimuli can cause actual harm to a child's developing brain and nervous system. They believe that every child's sensory experience is unique and that it is important to provide individualized support and guidance in regulating their emotions. Effective strategies include identifying and avoiding triggers whenever possible, providing calming activities and sensory experiences, and teaching specific coping skills for managing emotions.

Therefore, it is important to take an individualized approach to supporting children with sensory dysregulation. Exposing individuals to potentially harmful stimuli in an attempt to increase tolerance and the overt signs of dysregulation is invalidating to neurodivergent individuals. Learning sensory triggers, dysregulating stimuli, and regulating stimuli is the foundational work that when combined with a support personnel (e.g., parents, teachers, etc) providing support, co-regulation, and self-regulation is affirming of the individual’s neurotype. This approach will promote healthy brain development and long-term well-being.

Supporting research:

1. Ben-Sasson, A., Hen, L., Fluss, R., Cermak, S. A., Engel-Yeger, B., & Gal, E. (2009). A meta-analysis of sensory modulation symptoms in individuals with autism spectrum disorders. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 39(1), 1-11.
2. Green, S. A., & Ben-Sasson, A. (2010). Anxiety disorders and sensory over-responsivity in children with autism spectrum disorders: Is there a causal relationship? Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 40(12), 1495-1504.
3. Leekam, S. R., Nieto, C., Libby, S. J., Wing, L., & Gould, J. (2007). Describing the sensory abnormalities of children and adults with autism. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 37(5), 894-910.
4. Dunn, W. (2001). The sensations of everyday life: empirical, theoretical, and pragmatic considerations. American Journal of Occupational Therapy, 55(6), 608-620.
5. Case-Smith, J., & Arbesman, M. (2008). Evidence-based review of interventions for autism used in or of relevance to occupational therapy. American Journal of Occupational Therapy, 62(4), 416-429.
6. Baranek, G. T. (2002). Efficacy of sensory and motor interventions for children with autism. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 32(5), 397-422.
7. Lane, S. J., Reynolds, S., & Thacker, L. (2010). Sensory over-responsivity and anxiety in typical children and children with autism and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder: Cause or coexistence? American Journal of Occupational Therapy, 64(3), 453-464.
8. Engel-Yeger, B., & Dunn, W. (2011). The relationship between sensory processing difficulties and anxiety level of healthy adults. British Journal of Occupational Therapy, 74(5), 210-216.
9. Jones, S. M., & Miller, G. E. (2013). The psychological costs of exposure to uncontrollable stressors in children and adolescents. Child Development Perspectives, 7(1), 29-34.
10. Glover, V. (2011). Annual research review: Prenatal stress and the origins of psychopathology: An evolutionary perspective. Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, 52(4), 356-367.
11. Schore, A. N. (2001). Effects of a secure attachment relationship on right brain development, affect regulation, and infant mental health. Infant Mental Health Journal, 22(1-2), 7-66.
12. Schore, A. N. (2003). Affect dysregulation and disorders of the self. New York: W. W. Norton & Company.
13. Perry, B. D. (2001). The neurodevelopmental impact of violence in childhood. In C. R. Figley (Ed.), Trauma and its wake (pp. 103-128). New York: Brunner-Routledge.

1. Hahn, E. J. (2011). Risk of harm to children who experience developmental trauma: Potential impact on their life span. Journal of Evidence-Informed Social Work, 8(4), 420-429.
2. Siegel, D. J., & Bryson, T. P. (2012). The whole-brain child: 12 revolutionary strategies to nurture your child's developing mind. New York: Delacorte Press.
3. Van der Kolk, B. A. (2014). The body keeps the score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma. New York: Penguin Books.
4. Mullen, E. M., & Gorman-Smith, D. (1998). Parenting in community context: The role of social support, social capital, and parenting efficacy. Family Relations, 47(4), 323-332.
5. Sajed, S., & Lee, H. (2018). Exposure therapy for posttraumatic stress disorder: An overview of evidence-based treatment. Korean Journal of Family Medicine, 39(4), 191-199.
6. DeKlyen, M., & Greenberg, M. T. (2008). Attachment and psychopathology in childhood. In J. Cassidy & P. R. Shaver (Eds.), Handbook of attachment: Theory, research, and clinical applications (2nd ed., pp. 637-665). New York: Guilford Press.
7. Fosha, D. (2000). The transforming power of affect: A model for accelerated change. New York: Basic Books.
8. Porges, S. W. (2011). The polyvagal theory: Neurophysiological foundations of emotions, attachment, communication, and self-regulation. New York: W. W. Norton & Company.
9. Siegel, D. J. (1999). The developing mind: Toward a neurobiology of interpersonal experience. New York: Guilford Press.
10. Fonagy, P., Steele, M., & Steele, H. (1991). Intergenerational patterns of attachment: Maternal representations during pregnancy and subsequent infant-mother attachments. Child Development, 62(4), 891-905.
11. Gunnar, M. R., & Donzella, B. (2002). Social regulation of the cortisol levels in early human development. Psychoneuroendocrinology, 27(1-2), 199-220.

The broad definition: Any student who is below grade level in reading and has had sufficient reading instruction. There are disagreements over how far below grade level learners need to be.
The specific definition: Students struggling with reading and writing; often these students have a profile that includes:struggles with phonemic awareness, rapid naming, spelling, decoding, encoding, and fluency despite having typical intelligence.

• A language based problem
  
• A phonological processing disorder
  
• Neurobiological in origin, present from birth, experienced for life
  
• A spectrum disorder that can range from an annoyance to a severe limitation
  
• More common than any other learning disability
  
• Responsive to expert, informed instruction (Moats, 2008)Weakness in word reading, phonemic decoding, and spelling
  
• Surprising because weakness exists in the presence of normal intelligence
  
• Present in adults who have poor spelling, are slow readers, and have difficulty with novel and complex phonological forms
  

• Characterized or diagnosed by seeing letters backwards (reversals are normal developmental patterns through second grade)
  
• Indicative of "gifted" status
  
• A disorder that cannot be diagnosed until third grade
  
• A visual problem
  
• Responsive to colored lenses and/or eye tracking exercises
  

Learners with dyslexia will exhibit some of the following components:

• Poor short term phonological memory
  
• Poor auditory working memory
  
• Poor sound-letter correspondence
  
• Difficulty with repeating longer words, phrases, sentences
  
• Difficulty with non-word repetition tasks
  
• A history of being below grade level in reading
  
• Low vocabulary (as student switch from learning to read to reading to learn, they will not have asmuch exposure to vocabulary)
  

YES!  Dyslexia is a language based disorder and absolutely can and should be diagnosed and treated by a speech-language pathologist. 

Original Source: https://www.slphappyhour.com/

Research Sources:
Cabbage, Kathryn L, et al. “Exploring the Overlap Between Dyslexia and Speech Sound ProductionDeficits.” Language, Speech, and Hearing Services in Schools, U.S. National Library of Medicine, 24 Oct. 2018,https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/30458539.

Adlof, Suzanne M., et al. “Understanding Dyslexia in the Context of Developmental LanguageDisorders.” ASHA Wire, https://pubs.asha.org/doi/10.1044/2018_LSHSS-DYSLC-18-0049.

Otaiba, Stephanie Al, et al. "Elementary Grade Intervention Approaches to Treat Specific Learning Disabilities,Including Dyslexia." Language, Speech, and Hearing Services in Schools, U.S. National Library of Medicine, 24Oct 2018, https://pubs.asha.org/doi/10.1044/2018_LSHSS-DYSLC-18-0022

Farquharson, Kelly. "Why Speech Sounds Matter for Literacy." SLP Summit,7 January 2020,

**ANNOUNCEMENT**
If you have been contacted about resuming in-clinic sessions please know that we will be reaching out to you asap to discuss #telehealth options. Please know we are working as quickly and efficiently as possible to reach out to families. The health of all of our families and staff remain our top priority. We do urge our families that have been resistant to telehealth options to reconsider. #tcobuda #hayscounty #budatx #kyletx #covidsurge #Can2020BeCancelled #2020apocolypse #cantstopwontstop

Dear families –

TCOB wants to share some important updates regarding the clinic’s phased re-entry over the next 7-8 weeks. We will be contacting all our families individually to discuss scheduling options in the coming weeks. We want to reiterate TCOB continues to take COVID-19 seriously and the health of our families and staff.

As many of you are aware, TCOB launched telehealth services shortly after publicly closing in March. For those families who feel they benefit from telehealth, we want to reassure you we will continue to offer these services to families for the foreseeable future and we highly encourage you to minimize exposure and take advantage of this service as long as possible.

We recognize not all families benefit from telehealth, and we hope to welcome you back safely to the clinic with necessary precautions in place for the entire wellbeing of our families and staff. I wanted to share changes we will make to the visits and what you can expect when you return to in-person visits.

The following content was originally published by: The American Speech-Language Hearing Association (ASHA).
https://www.asha.org/stuttering/

This week is National Stuttering Awareness Week! Did you know that stuttering usually starts between 2 and 6 years of age? Many children go through normal periods of disfluency lasting less than 6 months. Stuttering that lasts longer may need treatment.

Talking to people can be hard if you stutter. You may get stuck on certain words or sounds. You may feel tense or uncomfortable. You might change words to avoid stuttering. Speech-language pathologists, or SLPs, can help.

It seems like we have a new reality for the foreseeable future. One of these realities is wearing face coverings (masks) to protect ourselves and those around us while outside our homes. 

It is important to recognize that Autistics, those with sensory processing disorder, and other neuodiverse people may have a difficult time wearing masks for a variety of reasons. It is important that we avoid extreme dysregulation/ melt downs as they pertain to wearing masks.  When meltdowns happen as a result of mask wearing it is alright to focus on the other avoidance techniques of social distancing and avoiding public places/ gatherings.  Don't force mask wearing if that mean a melt down will happen, remember that we want to honor the communication from our littles even if the message is something we don't want to receive.

On March 18, 2020 Therapy Center of Buda made the difficult, yet necessary decision to close to the public to ensure we do our part to keep our community safe and avoid the spread of COVID-19 (i.e., Coronavirus).  At the time we closed teletherapy was not an approved by the Texas Department of Licensing (TDLR) for speech-language pathologists and assistants. Nor was it reimbursable by Texas Medicaid (and MCOs) or private insurance policies. We relentlessly engaged with Governor Abbott, TDLR and Gov. Abbott in order to obtain approvals and coverage for our families and other Texan children.  After a tireless fight, we obtained approval from TDLR and The Governor to allow our therapists to provide our services via teletherapy during the COVID-19 pandemic.   We also have obtained approval from all forms of Medicaid and private insurance companies (with the exception of a few self-funded plans).  Many of the private insurance companies have also agreed to waive patient portion of teletherapy visits. This was wonderful news for our families and other Texan children that required speech-language and occupational therapies.

You may be wondering…What IS teletherapy? How is it different than the therapy we already get? Is it “right” for my child?  Let’s explore these questions together:

Here is an amazing resource for you! Click below to download and print this social story on the Coronavirus and about the need to quarantine. If you are having trouble explaining school closures, safety precautions, or the need to quarantine to someone you love, this is perfect!

Thank you everyone that came to see us at Boo-da this year! We had a blast!

It seems like our kids can’t wait for the summer break from school.  I remember the excitement of NO SCHOOL! No waking up crazy early! No responsibilities!! Woo hoo!  Well, now I am an adult and the summer is just another season that passes.  When kiddos have a break from school it can be fun for them; but, challenging for caretakers.   Here are some tips to keep your summer (and your kiddos) happy and tears at a minimum.

From time to time I meet people and they ask me HOW we are different than other clinics, well here are 8 of the things I explain to them.  In all honesty, it was difficult for me to narrow it down to 8.  I feel deep in my heart that we ARE different because we really do see TCOB as a family and we love each and every family that chooses TCOB.

Written by: Emily Swogger, OTR, MS

At Therapy Center of Buda we feel strongly about outdoor free play and providing our kiddos with a safe outdoor play space. Why are we so passionate about play? Because a child’s main occupation is to play. Play is how they learn new information in the most efficient manner. Yet in a world where children can spend up to 1200 per year on average in front of a screen, play time is rapidly being replaced with screen time. Time spent outside for children, research has shown, can be as little as 7 minutes per day!  Time spent in play in general can be as low as 30 minutes per day. Play-based activities are being decreased for a variety of reasons. On the early education front, a societal emphasis on increasing test scores or meeting Common Core requirements has shifted the focus of early learning and preschool from social emotional skills to building math and reading skills. After-school the amount of play time is decreased due to lack of time to engage in play between longer work hours and the nightly routines of dinner, homework, and bath time. For some, lack of a safe place to play in neighborhood playgrounds and parks is also contributing factor to a decrease in outside play time.  

So, why is the loss of unstructured play so important?

Diversity.  We all know the obvious forms of diversity; race, nationality, gender, socioeconomic status, general background, etc. But, lately I find myself discussing a lesser known type of diversity; neurodiversity.  Neurodiversity is the concept that neurological differences (e.g., Dyspraxia, Dyslexia, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, Dyscalculia, Autistic Spectrum Disorders, etc.) are respected as any other human variation.  Therapy Center of Buda has always embraced diversity and we celebrate the diversity of our families.  We don’t believe in “cures” and we don’t want neurodivergent people to look neutrotypical.  In fact, suppressing the communicative efforts, including stims and non-spoken forms of communication have long been proven to be counterproductive to overall communicative and daily living success.  Rather, listening to each individual and their wants, desires, requests, and rejections is a way to honor their communication styles.