Children Are Learning. That’s the Whole Point.
A lot of the time, what adults label as “bad behavior” is actually just a child doing their best with what they’ve got. Clinical psychologist Mona Delahooke reminds us that when we see behavior as communication, it stops being something we need to “fix” and starts being something we can understand.

If a child is melting down, shutting down, or saying no, there’s a reason. They’re not trying to make your life hard. They’re trying to manage something inside them that feels too big, too fast, or just too much. What they need in that moment isn’t punishment or shame. It’s support.

Kids Do Well When They Can
That phrase, coined by Dr. Ross Greene, should be at the foundation of how we interact with children. If a child could meet the expectation, they would. So when they can’t, we need to shift from blame to curiosity. What’s in the way? What skills or support are missing?

Dr. Greene’s work reminds us that collaboration and empathy go a lot further than control and consequence. When we approach kids with understanding instead of demands, we don’t just get better behavior...we build better relationships.



​They're Not Projects. They're People.
We have to stop trying to shape kids into what’s easiest for adults. Alfie Kohn, who’s written extensively about parenting and education, points out that many of our systems reward obedience over authenticity. That’s not preparing kids for adulthood. That’s conditioning them to suppress themselves.

Children learn best when they’re trusted. Not when they’re micromanaged. Not when every move is measured and evaluated. And not when we act like their job is to perform for adult approval.

Especially for neurodivergent children, the pressure to “comply” can be exhausting. They’re often pulled through endless programs, therapies, and interventions designed to make them appear more socially acceptable. But that’s not the same as meeting their actual needs.

We don’t need more kids who can mask their distress. We need kids who are safe enough to be themselves.

Being Bored Isn’t a Problem. It’s a Need.
Unstructured time is not a waste. It’s where the good stuff happens. When a child is “doing nothing,” they might be regulating. Or processing. Or dreaming. Or coming up with something wildly creative. Or maybe they’re just resting...and that’s more than okay.

Most adults fantasize about having a day without obligations. And yet we pack children’s schedules with structured activity, then panic when they say they’re bored. But boredom is healthy. It invites invention. It allows the nervous system to settle. It makes space for autonomy.

Letting a child be bored isn’t neglect. It’s a gift.

Noncompliance Can Be a Sign of Growth
Kristy Forbes, an Autistic advocate and educator, teaches about “radical acceptance”—the idea that children are not broken, and they don’t need to be reshaped to fit into narrow boxes. Noncompliance isn’t always defiance. Sometimes it’s a child protecting their dignity. Sometimes it’s them listening to their body. Sometimes it’s a protest against a system that feels unsafe.

We need to stop treating resistance like a red flag. Kids who say no are practicing self-advocacy. Kids who question rules are learning to think critically. Those aren’t flaws. Those are skills they’ll need as adults.

The irony is, we often say we want children to grow up to be bold, independent thinkers, but we punish those traits when they show up in childhood.

Lately, there’s been a huge rise in conversations about PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance aka Pervasive Drive for Autonomy). Some of it has been incredibly validating for people who’ve never had language for what they experience. And some of it… well, some of it has gotten a little muddy.
Let’s name it gently: there are a lot of content creators right now framing PDA as a catch-all for any kiddo who resists doing things. And while the visibility is good, the oversimplification isn’t. It’s not that these creators mean harm. Many are trying to support families in real distress. But the result is that many parents are walking away convinced their child is PDA when what they’re actually seeing is demand avoidance…and those are not the same thing.

Demand Avoidance Is Common (and Valid)
Most neurodivergent people show demand avoidance in some way. Honestly, it’s a reasonable response to a world full of sensory overload, executive functioning challenges, and often inflexible expectations. Avoidance can show up as procrastination, shutdowns, meltdowns, or even hyperfocus on literally anything else but the thing you’re supposed to do. Sound familiar?
These responses make sense. But they don’t automatically mean someone is PDA.

So, What Makes PDA Different?
Pathological Demand Avoidance isn’t just about avoiding things you don’t want to do. It’s a specific Autistic profile where perceived demands trigger a threat response in the body. Not “I won’t.” Not “I don’t like this.” But “I can’t, because my nervous system has gone into literal survival mode.”
This is where the autonomic nervous system (ANS) comes in. For people with PDA, requests (even ones that seem minor, friendly, or just expected) can ignite the same kind of physiological response you’d expect from someone in danger. It’s not attitude. It’s not oppositional behavior. It’s the body protecting itself.

Why the Distinction Matters
When we blur the line between demand avoidance and PDA, we risk giving the wrong support to the wrong kid.
Sometimes, what looks like PDA is:

• Anxiety + sensory overload
• A trauma response
• Executive dysfunction
• A need for agency
• Or honestly, just a child being pushed too hard, too often

That’s not PDA. That’s a nervous system asking for accommodations. his isn’t about gatekeeping. It’s about getting it right so the child’s nervous system can feel safe and the adults around them can respond in a way that’s actually helpful. PDA is real. So is demand avoidance. But they’re not interchangeable. In my opinion collapsing them into one category does more harm than good.

Learning from Lived Experience
I also want to acknowledge that some of the most important learning I’ve done around PDA has come from Kristy Forbes. Her work and her lived experience have changed how I show up...not just as a therapist, but as a parent and a person. From Kristy, I learned the concept and practice of radical acceptance...not performative tolerance, but deep, full-body acceptance of another person’s neurobiology and autonomy. That framework has helped me unlearn old patterns, center safety, and offer more meaningful support. I’m so grateful for everything she has shared; it’s made me better in every role I hold.

It seems like we have a new reality for the foreseeable future. One of these realities is wearing face coverings (masks) to protect ourselves and those around us while outside our homes. 

It is important to recognize that Autistics, those with sensory processing disorder, and other neuodiverse people may have a difficult time wearing masks for a variety of reasons. It is important that we avoid extreme dysregulation/ melt downs as they pertain to wearing masks.  When meltdowns happen as a result of mask wearing it is alright to focus on the other avoidance techniques of social distancing and avoiding public places/ gatherings.  Don't force mask wearing if that mean a melt down will happen, remember that we want to honor the communication from our littles even if the message is something we don't want to receive.

On March 18, 2020 Therapy Center of Buda made the difficult, yet necessary decision to close to the public to ensure we do our part to keep our community safe and avoid the spread of COVID-19 (i.e., Coronavirus).  At the time we closed teletherapy was not an approved by the Texas Department of Licensing (TDLR) for speech-language pathologists and assistants. Nor was it reimbursable by Texas Medicaid (and MCOs) or private insurance policies. We relentlessly engaged with Governor Abbott, TDLR and Gov. Abbott in order to obtain approvals and coverage for our families and other Texan children.  After a tireless fight, we obtained approval from TDLR and The Governor to allow our therapists to provide our services via teletherapy during the COVID-19 pandemic.   We also have obtained approval from all forms of Medicaid and private insurance companies (with the exception of a few self-funded plans).  Many of the private insurance companies have also agreed to waive patient portion of teletherapy visits. This was wonderful news for our families and other Texan children that required speech-language and occupational therapies.

You may be wondering…What IS teletherapy? How is it different than the therapy we already get? Is it “right” for my child?  Let’s explore these questions together:

It seems like our kids can’t wait for the summer break from school.  I remember the excitement of NO SCHOOL! No waking up crazy early! No responsibilities!! Woo hoo!  Well, now I am an adult and the summer is just another season that passes.  When kiddos have a break from school it can be fun for them; but, challenging for caretakers.   Here are some tips to keep your summer (and your kiddos) happy and tears at a minimum.

From time to time I meet people and they ask me HOW we are different than other clinics, well here are 8 of the things I explain to them.  In all honesty, it was difficult for me to narrow it down to 8.  I feel deep in my heart that we ARE different because we really do see TCOB as a family and we love each and every family that chooses TCOB.

Written by: Emily Swogger, OTR, MS

At Therapy Center of Buda we feel strongly about outdoor free play and providing our kiddos with a safe outdoor play space. Why are we so passionate about play? Because a child’s main occupation is to play. Play is how they learn new information in the most efficient manner. Yet in a world where children can spend up to 1200 per year on average in front of a screen, play time is rapidly being replaced with screen time. Time spent outside for children, research has shown, can be as little as 7 minutes per day!  Time spent in play in general can be as low as 30 minutes per day. Play-based activities are being decreased for a variety of reasons. On the early education front, a societal emphasis on increasing test scores or meeting Common Core requirements has shifted the focus of early learning and preschool from social emotional skills to building math and reading skills. After-school the amount of play time is decreased due to lack of time to engage in play between longer work hours and the nightly routines of dinner, homework, and bath time. For some, lack of a safe place to play in neighborhood playgrounds and parks is also contributing factor to a decrease in outside play time.  

So, why is the loss of unstructured play so important?

Diversity.  We all know the obvious forms of diversity; race, nationality, gender, socioeconomic status, general background, etc. But, lately I find myself discussing a lesser known type of diversity; neurodiversity.  Neurodiversity is the concept that neurological differences (e.g., Dyspraxia, Dyslexia, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, Dyscalculia, Autistic Spectrum Disorders, etc.) are respected as any other human variation.  Therapy Center of Buda has always embraced diversity and we celebrate the diversity of our families.  We don’t believe in “cures” and we don’t want neurodivergent people to look neutrotypical.  In fact, suppressing the communicative efforts, including stims and non-spoken forms of communication have long been proven to be counterproductive to overall communicative and daily living success.  Rather, listening to each individual and their wants, desires, requests, and rejections is a way to honor their communication styles.   

I played the video game Fortnite the other day with my teen grandson. As an educator, I’ve worked with thousands of kids with ADHD, social skills issues and similar challenges. And I wanted to know more about how Fortnite might affect them.

Fortnite is an online, multiplayer shooter video game. It’s free and can be played on a computer, on a gaming system like the Xbox, or on a mobile device. The most popular game mode is Battle Royale, where 100 players drop onto an island, try to find construction materials and weapons, and fight each other to be the last person (or team of people) standing. Players can talk to one another, and each game lasts 20 minutes. To get a sense of what it’s like, imagine an arcade version of the film The Hunger Games.

Fortnite has taken the world by storm. An estimated 50 million people play. There are news reports of kids playing at all hours of the day, late at night, and even under their desks at school. And many experts have weighed in on whether the game is good for kids.

by Bonnie Landau | Advocacy, IEP, Infographic, Special Ed Law

The IEP Team is suppose to help support your child, but sometimes their approach can be misleading. Knowing the law is key when advocating for your child. In my book, Special Ed Mom Survival Guide, I spend considerable time helping you learn about the law and how to apply it. In attending many IEP meetings as a special education advocate, I realized that the schools don’t quote the law when the deny services. Their information is hidden in messages that sound legitimate.
Here are 12 phrases I often hear that are really the IEP Team’s way of skirting around their obligation to provide services.

Having a child with special needs can be an emotionally, physically, mentally, and financially draining on a family. When diagnosed with a significant impairment like a genetic syndrome (e.g., Down Syndrome, Trisomy 13, XXX Syndrome, Marfan Syndrome), a congenital anomaly (e.g., Autism Spectrum Disorder, Cleft Lip/Palate, Encephalopathy, Spina Bifida, Encephalopathy), or an acquired syndrome (e.g., Traumatic Brain Injury, Cerebral Palsy, Aphasia) parents are inundated with doctor appointments and recommendations for therapies, medications, follow-ups, etc. In a perfect world, insurance would pay for everything recommended by a medical professional and we wouldn’t worry about the rising costs of said care. But, unfortunately that isn’t our reality.

Have you heard that we are EXEMPT from the mandated Superior/COFK program?!

Siblings of children with special needs have their own challenges.  People who grow up with a sibling with special needs are often equipped with amazing qualities like patience, kindness, empathy for others, and loyalty, all amazing traits for anyone to have. Here are some terrific books to check out if you love a sibling of a child with special needs.
                                                                                    *Click on the desired book cover for more information*

TRUTH. Our words matter; chose them wisely. 

the Autism (aka ASD) is combined array (aka spectrum) of neurotypes. These neurotypes are natural variations. Autism itself does not require treatment, as it is not a sickness. But oftentimes Autistic individuals have co-occurring issues that decrease their ability to fully and effectively communicate their wants and needs or participate in acts of daily living. Autistics, just like neurotypicals, can range from non-speaking to speak eloquently and possess an extensive vocabulary. Knowing the characteristics of Autism  is the first step to early identification and self empowerment.  

Some characteristics of Autistic children are:

Well, friends...it's about that time of year...to start planning for the summer months!  We all know what that means...SUMMER CAMPS! It's often a challenge to find reliable and vetted summer programs for our special little ones...fortunately for us, our friends at AISD did the leg work for us! Click the photo below to download your copy.  As always, if you have ANY questions feel free to email, call, or visit with me.

All of us at TCOB are heartbroken to hear of the ongoing events in Austin (and Schertz) with the explosive devices.  We have a safety protocol that was established prior to these events and we will continue to honor those safeguards.  There is no direct threat to our facility; however, we ask our families and our community to remain vigilant and aware of your surroundings.  Please report any suspicious activity or packages/items to authorities immediately by calling 911.  As these events continue to occur it is important that we educate our children and also find ways to talk to them about what is happening while not traumatizing them and making them fearful to step outside of their home.  Our friends at The National Child Traumatic Stress Network published the following (unedited) document on how to talk to children about bombings.  We though it was a good time to share with our families and those beyond our walls.  Sending love to all those victimized.