1. They still use compliance-based methods but call them "regulation" or "social skills"

• ABA, "gentle ABA," "new ABA," or “relationship-based” compliance therapy gets a new name and an infinity symbol or two.
• They talk about regulation, but the goal is “quiet hands,” eye contact, or sitting still.
• They might say "it's not ABA" but still use token systems, sticker charts, behavior points, or clip-downs.
• Affirming practices directly oppose the core beliefs and methods of ABA, so if someone claims to be neuro-affirming while operating an ABA clinic, they're either misrepresenting non-ABA services as ABA (which is unethical and outside their scope), or they're lying and rebranding compliance-based methods with prettier language.
• NO ONE needs 40 hours of therapy a week...or 20 hours...or even 5 hours!

2. They treat stimming, scripting, or echolalia as a behavior to extinguish

• Even if they call it “replacement behavior” or “functional communication training.”
• They're more concerned with social acceptability than the individual’s comfort, communication, or nervous system.

3. They praise “high-functioning” behavior and pathologize “low-functioning” traits

• Uses functioning labels at all.
• Says things like “you’d never know they’re Autistic” and means it as a compliment.
• Puts independence above interdependence.

4. They center adult expectations, not the client’s experience

• “How can we make this easier for teachers?” vs. “What does the child need to feel safe and successful?”
• “We just want to prepare them for the real world” = code for forcing masking.

5. They have a token Autistic or ND person on staff (or consult) but don’t structurally change anything

• They quote lived experience online but ignore or override that input in practice.
• Surface-level inclusion without giving that person any authority or leadership.

6. They rely heavily on outdated goals and assessments

• Still using developmental norms and milestones as if they're prescriptive.
• Still prioritizing age-typical communication styles and penalizing divergence.

7. They use affirming language but push ableist outcomes

• "We celebrate neurodivergence!" — but therapy goals still focus on eliminating Autistic traits.
• Their mission statement says “empower” but their IEPs say “reduce” or “correct.”

8. Parent coaching = compliance coaching

• Coaching focuses on how to get kids to listen, follow directions, and do what adults say.
• Doesn’t help parents understand their child’s sensory needs, cognitive processing, or autonomy.

9. Teachers say they support neurodivergence but won’t change their classroom structure

• No sensory breaks allowed.
• All assignments must be completed the same way.
• Directions are not concrete and explicit. 
• They are giving mandatory homework and not prioritizing recovery time at home.
• Refusals are punished instead of investigated.
• Insist on being called "Mrs." or "Mr."
• Rules are only for children, not teachers/ adults.

10. They minimize or dismiss PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance)

• Say “all kids resist demands” or “that’s not in the DSM” as a reason to ignore PDA traits.
• Push rigid strategies that escalate the nervous system.
• Use "oppositional defiance" to describe demand avoidance.

​

CLICK "Read More" for  GREEN FLAGS and for downloadable questions to ask teachers/therapists!

That’s where we can change the game.

One of the most helpful things we can do, for both teachers and kids, is to proactively share the most important information before school starts. Things like sensory needs, communication styles, regulation strategies, or even what truly lights that child up. When teachers aren’t left guessing or learning everything by trial and error, it lowers their stress and sets up the entire year for smoother interactions.

At Therapy Center of Buda, we’ve seen how powerful this simple shift can be. That’s why we created personalized info sheets designed to highlight the things that matter most about your child. How they learn. What helps them feel safe. What works when things get hard.

We’re offering these sheets to our current families during sessions over the next two weeks. But we didn’t want to stop there. We know so many other families could benefit, so we’re making them available right here too, for anyone who needs them.
​
This school year can start with understanding instead of overwhelm.

[Click the image for that version]